How To Make Money Easily

Money is not even an issue for someone like me, Brock Nebula. While throwing a quarter at a hobo the other day it occurred to me that maybe not everyone knows the secret to money. Let me help you poor people out. It's so easy.

First, always use credit. Always. Apply for every credit card you can and charge everything. Now here is the secret... when applying for the credit cards, use your parents address so that the bill goes to them. BOOM! Free money.

The Catch

Like most great ideas, this one comes with a catch. If your parents are like mine then they will pay the bills at first, but slowly they will stop paying them. You can sometimes slow this process down by asking your dad if he is poor. But, that eventually stops working. This is why you apply for every card you can before your credit takes a hit. Once your credit rating starts tanking then use one of your other cards to start paying for the other credit cards. Once you have maxed out all of your cards and can't afford to do this anymore, we enter the next stage of wealth.

Bankruptcy 

Move all of your solid assets such as real estate and vehicles into your girlfriends name then file for bankruptcy. After about six months you can safely move them back into your name. The only caveat to this part of the plan is you have to keep the same girlfriend for six months.

After you have exited bankruptcy, you can start applying to credit cards again. Credit card companies see that you have filed for bankruptcy recently and they know that you can't do it again for seven more years.

Disclaimers Are For Important People

While at the club this weekend, I let several of my most important friends read this genius plan and they strongly suggested that I put a disclaimer at the beginning of this post. I've opted instead to put it at the end because it's not informative and is just plain fucking boring. But, here it goes, if I can remember what they said. I'm sure I can, I'm way above average intelligence.

Disclaimer: I, Brock Nebula, am not qualified to give you or anyone financial advice. You should take the important information that I bestow upon you with a grain of salt. Some might even say this approach is completely wrong. But those people don't look near as rich as me, Brock Nebula.

Remember kids, always do your research before spending money and always check your collar for lipstick before going home.