Karate Is A Way Of Life

I've been practicing the art of Karate for nearly 3 years now. It has changed my life in so many ways. Not only can I beat all the other people in my class, small animals don't stand a chance against me. Basically, anyone under five feet tall would get pounded by my awesome round-house kick. I should name my business, "Round House Reality."

I realize how intimidating it can be to have a real estate agent that can kick your ass, but rest assured that the only ass I'll be kicking is high prices. Unless we are selling your home, then I'll be kicking the buyers ass with my street smarts as I talk them into paying over asking price. If they are under five feet tall then they will be paying WAY over asking price.

Karate is a good way to stay in shape through progression distraction. You will be so worried about getting to green belt like me that you won't even notice the ugly fat falling off of your disgusting body. If you ever manage to make it to green belt, it's a near guarantee that you will look almost as good as me.

To gain a mean lean body as good as mine you will have to focus on your diet as well. I eat Fig Pecker religiously. It's the 2nd reason of 17 as to why I look amazing all the time.

I'll discuss all 17 of my methods eventually on this blog, so stay tuned. In the meantime, start karate chopping random things to strengthen your albagladomas.

By the way, Fig Peckers also make you smarter. I routinely write words that even the dictionary doesn't recognize.